What a Sailboat in West Norway Taught Me About Vacation and Rest.

A Midlife Woman’s Guide to a Truly Restorative Vacation.

Why Some Vacations Leave Women More Exhausted Than Before,

and How You’re Allowed to Make a Change Without Letting Anyone Down.

“Research reveals that vacations often fail to restore women, leaving many more exhausted than before they left. For the Curious mind - research info at the end of the blog.”

I’ve always looked forward to vacations — the slowing down, the breathing differently, the promise of stepping out of routine. But there was a time when I had to learn that vacations don’t automatically equal rest.

With foster kids, and a boyfriend who also had kids, our vacations became a lot of family members to visit and get-together time. Beautiful, yes — but not relaxing. I was exhausted, and I realized I needed boundaries.

So, we made a new plan: spend some time with everyone, then take one week just for us to bond.

We packed the kids and the dog onto the sailboat and drifted through the fjords and islands of West Norway. Life became simple. The kids fished, read, played games. Each early evening, we stopped at one of the beautiful island, exploring and discovering together. By nightfall, they were tired in the best way — and the adults finally had quiet, listening to the waves against the boat.  Remember Norway has sun 24/7 in the summertime.

That week taught me something: Vacations only work when they’re shaped intentionally — so they fit everyone, including you.

And sometimes, we need to be a little creative and make our own vacation — one that fits our time, family, work, and budget.

Are You Looking Forward to Your Vacation — or Dreading the Work?

Vacations can be wonderful, but they can also be mentally and physically heavy. And the experience changes depending on who you’re traveling with — alone, with a partner, with kids, or with the whole extended family.

Some women even become the summer childcare solution because camps are expensive and parents have to work.

Every version of vacation carries a different emotional load.

The Big Difference

Traveling with friends or partners often brings freedom, flexibility, and personal focus.

Traveling with family or kids brings connection, legacy, and shared responsibility — plus the invisible labor of keeping everyone happy.

One type prioritizes your enjoyment. The other prioritizes shared experiences and the needs of others.

Many midlife women need a blend of both — and clear boundaries.

The Real Question

Are you doing this vacation because you enjoy it… or because you feel you have to?

Is it energizing and fun? Or exhausting, full of quarreling, and leaving you more tired than before?

Are you doing most of the work while others relax?

These questions matter.

When You’re a Working Woman Finally Getting a Break

For many women, vacation is the first real pause in months. For others, it becomes even more exhausting than their job — cooking, organizing, mediating, caring for everyone else.

Sometimes work isn’t the exhausting part. Vacation is.

So when time off finally arrives, ask yourself: What would actually help me feel human again?

The Myth of the “Perfect Vacation”

There is no universal vacation that works for everyone. Some thrive in cities and activity. Others need quiet mornings, slow walks, and space.

Vacation is not a performance. It’s an energy choice.

Match Your Vacation to Your Energy

Ask gently: “What does my body need right now?”

Quiet Connection Nature Inspiration Rest Adventure

None of these are wrong.

Vacationing Alone vs. With Family or Friends

Solo time can be deeply restorative. Family time can be meaningful — but it requires boundaries.

It’s okay to say: “I need one quiet morning.” “I need a walk alone.” “I can join some activities, but not all.”

You’re allowed to have needs, even on vacation.

Budget-Friendly or Expensive — Both Are Valid

A cabin weekend, a lake day, or a simple staycation can be just as restorative as a trip across the world.

Rest doesn’t require a plane ticket — only intention.

A Gentle Tool to Help You Choose

I’ve created a free downloadable sheet with different vacation styles based on your current energy. It’s simple, printable, and helps you choose a vacation that nourishes you — not drains you.

(Add your link here.)

I hope you will have or had a restorative vacation this year!

Your vacation is allowed to look different this year. Quieter. Slower. Simpler. Exactly what you need.

And if you want restoration that doesn’t depend on travel or budget, the Scandinavian practice of Friluftslivoffers year‑round nourishment.

That’s what we’ll explore in the next blog.

For the Curious Mind: Why Vacations Often Fail to Restore Women

Research shows that vacations often fail to restore women — especially midlife women who carry heavy emotional labor, caregiving responsibilities, and chronic stress. Studies from the American Psychological Association, Harvard Business Review, and the University of Michigan reveal that women frequently return from vacation just as stressed as before, sometimes even more. Without autonomy, boundaries, and intentional rest, vacations can become another form of work instead of a break.

1. Many people return from vacation more stressed than before.

A study from the American Psychological Association (APA) found that vacations often fail to reduce stress long-term, and stress levels return to baseline within days. For women who carry more household and caregiving responsibilities, the “vacation effect” is even shorter. Source: APA – Stress in America Report

2. Women perform more emotional labor on vacation.

Research published in Harvard Business Review shows women continue to carry the mental load during travel — planning, organizing, soothing emotions, managing logistics, and ensuring everyone is comfortable. This invisible labor follows them into vacation, making rest harder. Source: HBR – The Invisible Work Women Do

3. Caregiving responsibilities intensify during family travel.

The University of Michigan Health & Retirement Study found women are significantly more likely to perform caregiving-related travel (helping kids, partners, or aging parents). During vacations, this caregiving load increases because routines are disrupted and needs multiply. Source: University of Michigan – Caregiving & Travel Stress Study

4. Midlife women enter vacation already depleted.

A 2025 review in the Journal of Women’s Health found midlife women experience higher rates of chronic stress, sleep disruption, and emotional exhaustion — making it harder for vacations to “reset” their system. Source: Journal of Women’s Health – Midlife Stress & Recovery

5. Vacation planning itself is stressful.

A survey by Booking.com found that 30–40% of women report vacation planning as stressful or overwhelming, especially when coordinating family schedules, budgets, and expectations. Source: Booking.com Travel Trends Report

6. Family vacations increase conflict and reduce rest.

Research from the Family Travel Association shows that family vacations often increase conflict, decision fatigue, and emotional strain — especially for mothers who manage the majority of logistics. Source: Family Travel Association – Family Travel Trends

7. Rest requires autonomy — something women often don’t get on vacation.

Studies in Positive Psychology show that true restoration requires autonomy, quiet, and self-directed time. Women traveling with family often lose autonomy, making vacations feel like “another job.” Source: Positive Psychology Journal – Restorative Experiences & Autonomy

Disclaimer: This blog is for general wellness, reflection, and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not a substitute for care from a licensed healthcare professional. If you have concerns about your mental or physical health, please seek support from a qualified provider.